Oh, to be young and in heat

"You know I don't really like big boobs. I much prefer little ones because when the girl gets older the big ones get all saggy, but the little ones are still right up there."
This is a direct quote.
Now if this had been my friend who had said this, I probably would have way-layed him for being superficial. If he had been a friend's boyfriend, I probably would have said, "You know what I like, a really nice sized cock."
But instead I was out having drinks with my dear friend K. who invited the dreaded Mr. T to join us.
Now everyone knows Mr. T, he's that guy who gets invited out a lot because he is always available, knows where all the decent places are to hang out, and almost always has weed. But in exchange of all those things, you have to listen to him be a tool.
Mr. T is that guy you tolerate because you don't want to disturb the dynamic of the group, and he always gets invited because someone thinks, "he's an alright guy."
Maybe he is an alright guy, but he's also a TOOL.
So Mr. T came out to met us all for drinks because he has a thing for my dear friend K., who God love her, is 23 and has an infuriating positive "I like everyone" attitude toward the world. However, the beauty of having to sit there and listen to innane statements like the one at the top, is being able to culturally observe the cliche pick-up artist at work.
He did every textbook manuver that you read about in Esquire, Maxim and every other male propaganda piece that makes guys feel cool.

Slightly insult her to take her off any pedistol she might be on: "Girl, You've gained some weight." he tells her as she removes her coat. "I mean your not fat, but you've gotten bigger since we saw each other last."

Befriend the running mate: He instantly bonded with the girl who was crashing with K. because if you befriend the friend, then it's a lot easier to ask her to leave for the booty call later.

Bemoans the dating scene: (Especially effective if the girl is from out of town) All the girls who live here are either completely ugly or they are already married. We don't get a lot of good looking girls around here.

Develops a nostalgia: "Don't you remember the last time you were in town you were so smashed you had a pizza order delivered to the bar." This also works to subtly remind the girl that she was probably so drunk not to remember that we could have hooked up that night.

It was all so fascinating, because being out of the dating scene, I haven't seen these ploys at work, and also because when I was in the dating scene, I was usually working my own ploys to get some boy to go home with me. So it was like watching a nature film or science experiment unfold.
The really sad part is before he showed up K. had told me that she was pretty sure he was gay.