Wild Nights

My lovely friend M. is having a baby. A little boy. We are all very excited. Except for the fact that I had to attend a baby shower. I usually hate forced social gathers where you have to make up chit chat with strangers, but baby showers have good food and the little outfits are adorable, so I really didn't mind.
M. had an "in-law" she really didn't want to deal with, so she developed a plan where her sister could fake choking and her college roommate could heimlich her, hence diverting everyone's attention from the death glares M. would be shooting said "in-law."
Jokingly I suggested I could just get really drunk, "That way everyone would be looking at me."
She said, "Well, you are my Wild Friend."
What?
Then, this week my dear friend L. started making plans to host a bachelorette party as a Brown Bag party. An event where women can get together to pick out erotic toys, lotions and lingerie in someone's home instead of having to traipse to the seedier parts of town. Purchases are made in a private room, and no one really has to know how big of a freak you are unless you tell them. I love this idea, and immediately told her, "I am in."
L. has decided not to drink alcohol anymore, and more power to her, but since it was a bachelorette party, I suggested having cocktails at the party. She said, "It's not going to be like that, I mean I guess people can bring stuff if they want, but I doubt they will, I mean I don't drink anymore."
Shocked, I asked, "Surely you have some tequila slamming friends you've invited to this shin dig, right?"
"No, your my Wild Friend."
Again, what?
When on earth did this happen? I am not a wild person. I go to bed at 9:30 p.m. every night. I'm married with a kid. I only have one tattoo and it is in the most discreet of places. I'm not in a band. I work a 9 to 5.
Maybe when they are saying I am their Wild Friend, they really mean, "You're an alcoholic." But seriously, I haven't had a cocktail since my birthday in June. Last night my night cap was a pudding cup with Cool Whip. I'm not quite lush material.
I have had Wild Friends, and I dare say I am anywhere close to their legendary acts which range anywhere from performing at amateur hour at Regina's House of Dolls, having sex in public places, or traveling several hours to sleep with members of a well known rock band.
Maybe my translation for Wild Friend is "slutty"?
Although it is kind of nice being the "bad ass" of the group. People don't expect too much from you. They get that attending bridal showers makes you want to yak and that if they need to know the difference between a vibrator and a dildo, you are the one to call.